Archive
How to be successful on the job & in life: CHANGE
Tips from the folks at Paperworks Studio
March 23, 2012
By Paperworks Studio
Change is an inevitable part of life and the workplace. Things don’t always stay the same. Things change and that is okay. Sometimes it can be hard when things change, especially when you are used to doing things a certain way. But you need to be flexible and make changes as needed so that you can do your job well. At work, procedures and routines need to be changed or modified for a variety of reasons.
Most individuals on the autism spectrum don't like changes in routines. They like to stay on a schedule that is always the same. We often tell older, transition-age students that they must try something TEN TIMES before they can decide, or “claim,” that they do not like it. This is a rule we follow in our classrooms, and because it is a rule, most students learn to abide by it. We set the expectation high and that expectation eventually becomes the norm.
Learning how to make changes needs to happen early and often! Your families and teachers should strive to help you learn how to make change become more comfortable, by thinking about the following…
- Practice flexibility - both in thoughts & actions.
- Choose things that are do-able. Start with little things. Although it will be hard at first, insist on the changes. Examples might be food & clothing preferences, types of activities, routes taken to go places, or people who you do things with. Take into account changes that can occur based on time, weather, schedule changes, circumstances, etc… get ready to practice change on a regular basis.
- When ready to practice changing or altering an established routine, it’s a good idea to begin to get the child accustomed to the change days before. Discuss the change with the child. Show them pictures that can help them begin to understand what might be happening. Go slow at first to gauge their receptiveness to the change. Parents and teachers should not only anticipate upcoming natural changes, but also be willing to manufacture opportunities to practice change – again, helping the child prepare by using stories and pictures, whenever possible.
- Here’s an example of how to START EARLY & CHANGE OFTEN INTENTIONALLY practicing change:
Subject > Eating habits – Let’s say there is a young person who really loves one “particular” fast food cheeseburger, with ketchup only - nothing else – and they only want to eat it while riding in their parents car.
Change the type of cheese on the same hamburger or add pickles; Eat the cheeseburger at a picnic table at the park; Transfer their love of a fast food cheeseburger to one made at Grandma’s house. Help them adapt to these changes more readily by adding elements that may not have anything to do with the food! Stay after the cheeseburger picnic to play at the park, (if that is something they enjoy!) OR Have them be the one to be chosen to walk Grandma’s dog after dinner (if that is something they enjoy!). If you can connect the change to an enjoyable activity or memory for them, chances are the next time a change is necessary, it will be just a little bit easier. Keep in mind, those “little bits” eventually multiply into bigger bits.
Making changes must begin at the earliest age possible! We must begin to interrupt routines as soon as we notice they are becoming routines. Although changes can be frustrating and stressful, on everyone involved, the younger we start practicing, the easier it will be when we are older and need to get along in the workplace.
The Autism Society has teamed up with Goodwill’s Paperworks Studio, a mission-based, social enterprise that employs artists with disabilities to create unique greeting cards from recycled materials like blue jeans, coffee, wool sweaters and flowers. For every pack of greeting cards sold, the company will donate a portion to the Autism Society. The quality of the cards is impeccable and the love and inspiration is unmatched. Purchase the cards here!
Topics:Living with Autism
Talents
March 14, 2012
By Lee Passehl
Most Autistics seem to posess some kind of gift. For Temple Grandin, it was animal science. For Jason Mcelwain, it was shooting basketballs. For Donna Williams, it was creative writing. All these individuals put their talents to good use.
My talent is a little different from most autistic people I’ve met. When I think of animal science, I think of a person in a white coat observing and taking care of ethier rabbits, horses, or whatever animals they are focusing on. When I think of basketball, I think of tall athletic people passing and shooting an orange rubber ball, running up and down a wooden floor, scrambling and clawing all to get a piece of the ball in front of tens of thousands of people. When I think of creative writing, I think of a person telling stories about mystical creatures or a journey of two people through a mountain somewhere in a place far, far away fighting bears, lions or whatever enemies the author can think of.
My talent might be hard to visulize or comprehend for most people on this planet. When people think of radio control cars, the first thing that comes to mind is a young child driving a very plastic, toy that only goes about 3 MPH, and is advertised on children’s television programs. The cars that I race are an entirely different animal. Some parts on my cars can reach 300 degrees Fareinheit. I can use real gasoline mixed with oil.The cars are made of high tech materials similar to the fastest cars in the world and can accelerate faster than most cars on this planet. These cars are extremely hard to control, and can be driven in the rain at 55 MPH.
There are people who get paid to race radio control cars professionally, but there are very few of them who race for money, so racing as a profession for me is out of the picture. I’m interested in a job that would suit my talent, but this is very hard to explain when talking to a job counselor. Hollywood does robotics and it would be great to do this type of work. It would be great to put my talent to good use.
I believe everyone who has a special talent should explore that talent to the utmost extent and never let up once they are given the opportunity. If your family member has a talent that could offer lifelong opportunities, go for it. Look at what my “gift” did for me. It gave me an incentive to do other things I’m less comfortable doing, like exercising good sportsmanship (no tantrums), and appropriate behaviors in a public setting. It also brought me to one of the most awesome places to live in America and the world. I thank whatever supreme force out there for giving me that gift or working hard to make my gift work. Don’t give up; it could open a huge door for you and family.
Lee blogs for the Autism Society about his life with autism. Read his story!
Topics:Living with Autism
Sharing my Autism: Perspectives of son and mother
March 13, 2012
By Eric and Felecia Rozansky
ERIC, 15:
When I heard I had the chance to voice my personal thoughts on what it’s like to have autism, I leapt at it because this was a chance to show people my perspective on what autism is to me.
I remember last summer my family was over at a friend’s house and there was a little boy who stood out from everyone else. He had eerily similar behaviors to me when I was that age. For example, he wouldn’t respond to people calling him, he had an obsessive interest in his little toy and he was followed constantly by his dad to stop him from going into the street. He was what appeared to be 6 or 7 years old so I knew something was up. I asked my mom what was happening and she told me what I had known already: he had autism. She suggested that I speak to his parents and try to help them.
I never knew myself as the one to talk to parents of people with autism, but I went over anyway. I introduced myself by saying “Hi, I’m Eric and I have autism like your son.” They questioned me vigorously and I easily answered their questions about autism, like:
“Why does my son obsess with wheels?” (I explained that the repetition calms him down)
“Does my son hear me when I call my name?” (No, I said. I remember being so focused on something that I blanked out everything around me except for my object of interest, even to the point that everything around me was silent).
After speaking with these parents for several more minutes, they repeatedly thanked me and my mom. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my mom explained to me later that I helped them understand their son just a little bit better. Right now, as I type this, I have a big smile across my face knowing that maybe I have the ability to help parents with kids like me, and help the kids, too.
Felecia (Eric’s Mom) writes:
I am so incredibly proud of my son, and our whole family, for the way Eric handles himself. I think Eric is so willing to speak about his autism and seek out others to help because, as a family, we have always accepted that Eric has autism. We’ve worked hard to understand how Eric experiences the world. At times we have struggled to make sense of his behaviors and his approach. The hardest part has been to get our other children to come with us on this lifetime journey…but really, the bottom line has always been: what choice do we have?
Topics:Living with Autism
I’ve Got His Back, But Who Has Mine?
March 8, 2012
By Dan Olawski
I wanted to write a blog post in February that would focus on autism, love, and relationships in honor of Valentine’s Day. Sadly, not only didn’t I have a “real” Valentine’s Day, I barely had a month of February.
I suffered a back injury at some point over the past couple months. Beginning in February, I have been dealing with severe pain, which limits my ability to walk, sit, and basically function normally. But, as anyone who has had a family member with a back injury knows, the suffering and inconvenience wind up impacting the entire family. When that family has a child with autism in it, there can be added challenges.
I don’t know how much my six-year-old son, Mikey, understands about daddy’s “boo boo” situation, but his autism hasn’t stopped him from communicating that he knows something’s different. I’ve noticed him reach out for me to hug him and give me a strange look when he realizes the hug isn’t the same or wasn’t followed by me scooping him up into my arms. I know that difference is tough on both of us.
I’ve tried to interact and care for Mikey as close to normal as has been possible for me, but that hasn’t been anywhere near what my “normal” usually is. Not being able to give Mikey the same amount and kind of attention that I usually do has been breaking my heart. It’s been difficult for me to be “dad” when I can’t even be “Dan.”
But I’ve come to realize that whatever my current limitations may be they could never stop me from showing Mikey how much I love him. I’d still do anything in the world for him…even if I had to limp around or be hunched over to do it. And the bottom line is that autism or no autism he knows that.
I think we tend to not give our children enough credit at times…I’ve learned my lesson. So, I know I have Mikey’s back…but who has mine?
Dan Olawski blogs about fatherhood and his son Mikey for the Autism Society. He lives with his family on Long Island, N.Y., where he works as a writer/editor. His time is spent following Mikey with a vacuum cleaner, watching his beloved New York Yankees and continuing his pursuit of the perfect chocolate chip cookie. He can be contacted at dantheeditorman@gmail.com.
Topics:Living with Autism
Dealing with Opinions
February 29, 2012
By Lee Passehl
Sometimes other people’s opinions can be hurtful to me. For example, when I enjoy watching something on the Internet and someone makes a bad comment about the video, it can make me not like the video, distract me from watching the video, or not want to watch it anymore. So I’ve learned to stay away from the comments bar (where people can type what is on their mind about the video).
In 2005 when I was 20, I joined a local sports message board site because I was missing my friends from high school and I wanted to make some new ones. I thought this website would be a good place to do it because most of the people on the site were my age and liked sports (I was a manager for my high school football and basketball teams and participated on the track team). About two weeks of being on the message board, I noticed that the people on the website hated/disliked auto racing (mostly NASCAR) and made strong opinions about it. They also said “it was not a sport” because they thought it wasn’t physical. This really offended me because I loved auto racing. They would trash auto racing and this really made me feel bad.
One time when I got into a big argument with a member of the message board, he told me that I “had no right being here.” This really lowered my self esteem. I decided to get off the board. One member said I “really needed a life” and it really made me feel stupid and worthless. My parents had to deal with my constant anxiety about it and it affected all our lives negatively for a very long time.
These days, I am pretty much careful about what I post and where I post it. I can now handle opinions much better, but I still need a lot of help when dealing with them. I can deal with criticisms about my driving when someone tells me how to take a corner better or if my car is not handling right. However, the opinions opposing my opinions still bother me just a bit. I am still sensitive, especially when people get mean and nasty. I need to separate the person from their opinions, and that’s very hard for me to do. But one day I will shrug it off and laugh and I tell myself that this doesn’t deserve my attention. These things are not worth obsessing over and dwelling on all my life. It takes me a very long time to “let go” because it feels like it’s welded to my hands. I am still learning about how to recognize my emotions and what to do with them.
Lee blogs for the Autism Society about his life with autism. Read his story!
Topics:Living with Autism
And If I Only Stopped There….
February 22, 2012
By Desiree
A parent always wonders what their child is going to be like when he or she is born. What color hair will they have? What color will their eyes be? Whose smile they will inherit? As a parent, you wonder for nine long months until that moment… that moment when that bundle of joy enters your world. In that split second nothing else matters. From that moment on you’ve finally realized what love is really all about.
Dylan and his new iPad from The Puzzling Piece!
My son Dylan will be three this March. Since he was born, he’s always had his own agenda. It was his way or the highway. Dylan crawled early, he walked early, and he even babbled early. I remember his grandmother always saying, “He is going to be an early talker!” And that’s when the silence began.
At Dylan’s one year check up, I told his pediatrician that I was very concerned about Dylan’s speech. She referred me to Early Intervention to see if he would qualify for speech services. About a month later, Dylan was evaluated and it was determined he had speech and other delays as well as sensory needs. He was then enrolled once a week in speech and occupational therapy. Months went by and I noticed Dylan was not making that much progress. His speech was still delayed, he was still seeking sensory input and now his behavior was changing. He started screeching because he did not like to be touched. His eye contact was growing worse, and he wouldn’t acknowledge when you called his name. So back to the doctors I went, telling his pediatrician that I wanted to get Dylan’s hearing checked just in case. Maybe it was his hearing, but deep down I knew there was more to the picture. A mother always knows.
Well, Dylan got his hearing checked and the doctor said his hearing was perfectly fine. Around that time was his re-evaluation for Early Intervention. Dylan was tested again and showed even more delays than before. I knew I needed to take the next step, I just didn’t want to hear the outcome. I kept saying to myself, “He’s fine, it’s just a phase, he’ll grow out of it.” But in my gut I knew… I couldn’t keep lying to myself. The more I wait, the worse it will get.
I called up the children’s hospital to receive the paperwork to get the process started, and I contacted my son’s doctors office to make them aware I was getting Dylan evaluated. The head doctor was also a child developmental specialist and he wanted to evaluate Dylan himself before taking the other steps. At the end of the evaluation, he told us he believed Dylan had anxiety. I thought to myself that it didn’t seem right. Why the speech delay? Why the constant screeching and repetition? Still, I wanted answers.
After several months, I finally got an appointment for Dylan to be evaluated at the hospital. The appointment was long, the questions were very in depth and Dylan was all over the place. Finally the evaluation was finished and the doctors told us to come back that following Wednesday for the results. Wednesday came and Dylan’s grandmother and I went to the hospital. Sitting in the little conference room, my heart was racing. The doctor went over the whole test, what they saw, how Dylan acted etc, etc. As the doctor read off her notes, my mind started to wander. I kept saying to myself, “I understand why you are doing these tests! I just want to know what is wrong with my son!”
But, just as both our eyes made contact, I heard the words, “your son has autism.” My stomach dropped. I started to cry. Thinking it is one thing, but actually hearing someone say it makes it real. She then told us the different types of services she wanted Dylan to receive (such as ABA) to help with his behavior, more speech and OT. And to have him enrolled in about 15 hours a week of services.
Leaving that appointment I knew the first thing I was going to do was go on the computer and look up as much information I could about autism. I kept telling myself, “My son deserves all the services he can get. I will go above and beyond for my son to get whatever he needs to succeed.”
Dylan and his mom
Article after article, website after website, research study after research study, finally I came across an article about children with autism using iPads to communicate. As I read on, I saw that there are at least three dozen apps that are designed for children with autism, including ones for music and reading. Even the device itself supports spoken text. I contacted my son’s speech therapist and she told me that there are some organizations that will help children with autism get an iPad. There was one in particular that I could find on the Autism Society’s website called The Puzzling Piece.
So I went online and started reading how to win an iPad. By selling 60 puzzle pieces (i.e. necklace, keychain, etc) I would win an iPad. I realized, not only would people who bought a piece be helping an amazing cause, but my son could get this amazing tool to help him speak more and even help him when he can’t tell us what he wants or needs. I quickly wrote an email to Melissa, founder of The Puzzling Piece, and instantly got an email back explaining what I had to do, pictures of her products and different types of ways to get it out there. I was so excited! It was a brand new journey I was about to embark on.
I had to be creative. I made a Facebook event called The Puzzling Piece Challenge for Dylan and sent it out to just family and close friends. It was a huge hit. By day three, Melissa called me telling me I was a “rock star!” She explained that Dylan already had 34 pieces bought and she couldn’t believe it!
The Puzzling Piece Challenge for Dylan on Facebook
I was in total shock. She kept saying “You’ll have this iPad in no time, I can feel it, just keep up the good work!” Well it didn’t stop there. Friends, classmates and family members were spreading the word to co-workers, other family friends and other friends. These pieces were being bought like crazy! But by the third week we were in a rut. Finally, my close friend Ryan called me and told me to make the Facebook event into an Evite, an online invitation that sends you a link that can be shared in an email, text or even on Twitter. Well, my friend Ryan and her friend decided to go on Twitter and “tweet” all of these actors, actresses, singers, news broadcasters, journalists, and radio stations about Dylan’s event. We had Jamie Lynn Spears ( Brittany Spear’s sister) Adam Bouska (founder of the NOH8 Campaign) Randy Houska, reporter Carina Mackenzie, Meghan Nelson, and more people spreading the word! I had complete strangers telling their family and friends about Dylan’s Challenge and buying pieces. It was so unreal!
Finally, on February 16, I got a phone call from Melissa telingl me I only had four more pieces to go. She said Dylan WOULD have his iPad today, no if’s ands or buts. Those last four were bought in less than 15 minutes…finally Dylan won his iPad! I honestly could not believe it. After receiving the phone call that Dylan won, my friend Ryan then told me that TV stars Gabi and Dani Victor will be hosting a benefit in March in honor of Dylan for children with autism.
It is just remarkable how many amazing and thoughtful people that are out there, that are willing to help in any way. Dylan and I have a long journey ahead of us, but it will be an amazing one. He is my inspiration and he has made me, as his mother, a better person than I ever was. He has made me see what life is really all about.
Topics:Living with Autism
Paranormal
February 17, 2012
By Jeff Stimpson
I sit down at Alex’s tri-annual IEP meeting expecting it will last about 15 minutes. I squeeze into the miniscule seats with Alex’s teacher and OT, his PT and speech therapist, and a nice guy from the DOE (Department of Education) who seems to run the show. We talk about Alex.
First, we go over familiar territory on Alex’s IEP, his progression on language, his ability to do simple addition. He delivers the newspapers to classrooms every morning with a staff member, a vocational training. They hope Alex (13, PDD-NOS) will continue using fewer and fewer prompts in the months ahead.
“But sometimes he doesn’t understand that he has to deliver the paper and leave the classroom,” his teacher reports. “He wants to say ‘hi’ to everyone and examine everything in the class…” He’s also bolted from his occupational therapist and tried to make for the school playground.
“We’ve been discussing,” says his unit teacher, “that Alex could benefit from a one-to-one paraeducator. I think with hormones and puberty and everything going on, it’s becoming a little too much for him to focus.”
My kid will truly, really, never – as the shriveling budgets and the fiscal years pass one-by-one – ever live independently. (As they said back in the NICU when he was born, "I just don’t want you to think you’ve ever going to have a normal baby.")
I bring my own Alex stuff, too. Can they help him understand that he shouldn’t leave our apartment and bust in on neighbors? Stop biting his arm when frustrated, stop unraveling and ripping his own T-shirts? Can they help him understand the dangers of traffic? Can anyone?
“I can’t have him run across the street when I have five kids back here on this corner,” his teacher says. She adds that sometimes Alex will also listen only to her, and not to the class paras and other staff members. Familiarity breeds authority with Alex.
Disruptive? Disturbing? “I wouldn’t say ‘disruptive’ and I wouldn’t say ‘disturbing,’ either,” the unit teacher replies. She’s discussed the para idea with others, and believes Alex would benefit in focusing and transitions “just for one or two years. We don’t ever want him to become dependent on one person.”
Including dad, I realize. They called to remind me of this appointment a couple of times. How come they never mentioned the para discussions?
We move to Alex’s other potential vocational work, based on his interests: janitorial, laundry. He loves laundromats. “He mopped the kitchen floor the other day,” I say, feeling kind of like a defendant. “Of course, we do have a Swiffer, and I think he just likes to press the button on the handle.”
“We use erasable markers, and have him wipe up the marks,” his teacher says.
“We don’t need to create extra spills in our house,” I say.
“We have a class that goes out to do laundry every Thursday,” the unit teacher adds. “It isn’t Alex’s class, but if he had a one-to-one para, he could go with them.”
They want it, they say he needs it, and for now all they have to do is write it on the IEP and the City of New York, for some reason I still don’t understand amid my growing cynicism, must come to up with the para. In another timeline, Alex might get booted from public school now. How much longer will that apparent right of mine continue?
“You could write that Alex needs a ride on the space shuttle and the city has to produce it,” I said. “Put down that he needs a BMW, will you?” No sense abandoning humor yet.
Jeff Stimpson is a native of Bangor, Maine, and lives in New York with his wife Jill and two sons. He is the author of “Alex: The Fathering of a Preemie” and “Alex the Boy: Episodes from a Family’s Life With Autism” (both available on Amazon). He maintains a blog about his family at jeffslife.tripod.com/alextheboy, and is a frequent contributor to various sites and publications on special-needs parenting, such as Autism-Asperger’s Digest, Autism Spectrum News, the Lostandtired blog, The Autism Society news blog, and An Anthology of Disability Literature (available on Amazon). He is on Linked In under “Jeff Stimpson” and Twitter under “Jeffslife.”
Have you had a similar experience in an IEP? Tell us in the comments!
Topics:Living with Autism
Father Recognized with BRAVE Award
"I don't know about the word caregiver. I'm their father."
January 30, 2012
By Autism Society
Zarrar's Story
Global specialty biopharmaceutical company Shire honored Zarrar as one of 14 caregivers through an inaugural international recognition program called the BRAVE Awards.
Most people couldn’t imagine how difficult caring for a child with a disability can be. Zarrar cares for four. His three daughters, all in their early teens, suffer from a form of Mucopolysacchridosis (MPS) and one of his two sons lives with autism.
His daughters’ condition causes hyperactivity, hearing loss, sleep disorders, loss of speech, mental retardation, blindness and dementia. Most MPS patients die before the age of 15. Even with this knowledge, Zarrar approaches every day with a “glass-half-full” attitude.
He gives his daughters, who become less mobile every day, and his son as normal a life as possible, playing outside with them, taking them to the local parks and on mini-vacations. He’s also working on renovating his house, making it more accessible to his girls.
Zarrar, along with his wife, are constantly dealing with the everyday feedings and consistent needs associated with caring for four children with disabilities, three of whom can barely complete day-to-day activities on their own.
Yet Zarrar remains unfazed by it all. His personality is one of giving help, not asking for it. His greatest joys in life are his children. And he strives every day to fill their lives with as much joy as they’ve given him.
Through it all, he has the same reply for anyone who commends him for how much he gives his family. He tells them his wife is the true hero, not him. And that speaks volumes for how selfless and inspirational Zarrar really is.
About the award
Shire received nearly 400 nominations from seven countries over 10 weeks for the BRAVE Awards. The BRAVE Awards Selection Committee, which included select Shire employees and Gary Barg, Editor in Chief of Today’s Caregiver and caregiver.com, as well as author of The Fearless Caregiver, reviewed and ranked the nominations based on the qualities that define Shire’s own BRAVE culture: respect, courage, dedication, impact and patience. Shire’s nearly 5,000 employees from across the world helped to select the Recipients and Distinguished Honorees from the pool of eligible finalists.
Shire is proud to honor 14 people as part of the inaugural BRAVE Awards; 10 Recipients each will receive $10,000 USD or the local currency equivalent, and four Distinguished Honorees will each be awarded $2,500 USD or the local currency equivalent, for a total of $110,000 USD.
“The BRAVE Awards is an outstanding program that recognizes those who selflessly dedicate their lives to the health and well-being of others who need it most,” said Mr. Barg. “The 14 inaugural recipients and honorees are heroes who are truly deserving of this recognition.”
Click here to read more about the BRAVE recipients!
Topics:Living with Autism
It is your turn to… Ask the Autism Society
January 25, 2012
By Autism Society
If you have been following the conversation on Facebook and our e-newsletter, ASA-Net, then you know the Autism Society has set its sights toward following long-term strategic goals:
1. Ensure 100% of children showing the signs of autism are screened by 3.
2. Pave the way for the successful transition of young adults who leave the educational system in order that they can be gainfully employed, have options to advance their education, and/or be successful in living as independently and self-sufficient as possible.
During the past two weeks, you recommended the initiatives that could be successful in your communities and told us the issues most important to you in regards to early screening and transitions to adulthood. The Autism Society exists to serve you. That’s why it’s your turn to ask us the questions about our goals.
Here’s how it works
Please leave your questions about the Autism Society’s goals and course of action in the comments of this blog post by 11:59 EST on Sunday, January 29. Your questions will be answered in a following blog post by Autism Society Board Chairman Jim Ball, and Autism Society President and COO Scott Badesch.
Remember you need to sign before you leave a comment. All comments must first be approved by the webmaster, so please don’t be concerned if your comment isn’t posted immediately!
Note: If you’re seeking general information about autism, particular treatments, local resources or have another question that doesn’t directly relate to the Autism Society’s goals, please contact the Autism Society’s information and referral department Autism Source ™ at 301.657.0881 or send us a message.
Topics:Living with Autism, News
Patience, Strong Will, & Optimism: An Autism Parent’s Resolutions for Success
It’s important to celebrate everything. The smallest successes are still successes and out of small things do great things grow. That’s something I believe with the greatest of resolve.
January 19, 2012
By Dan Olawski
Mikey giggled, said “No fanks,” and ran away from me once again. I was trying to get him to go sit on the potty, but he kept evading my attempts to herd him into the bathroom. As I finally caught him and guided him to the toilet I realized the importance of my New Year’s resolutions.
I took a deep breath and said to myself, “patience.” As parents of children with autism, our patience is frequently tested and I’ve resolved to be even more patient this year as I work to help Mikey through autism’s daily challenges. Taking a moment to be calm and realize that our children need us to be patient and loving is the most important thing we can do for them.
As I squatted down to help Mikey, I felt my back and leg muscles ache and made myself a promise to attempt the most cliché of resolutions…lose weight and get back in shape. As Mikey gets older, stronger, and faster I need to be able to keep up with him. Our children need us to be at our best at every second and being as healthy as we can be both physically and mentally will help keep us sharp and ready for any test.
Mikey started singing a silly song to me to avoid sitting on the potty, I realized the smile on my face was clouding another of my resolutions: don't let the cuteness factor influence how much I push Mikey when he doesn’t want to do something. Okay, I admit it…I find Mikey to be the most amazing, interesting, adorable little boy in the world. Does that mean he can charm me out making him do things? Well…yes. So, I have my work cut out for me in achieving this one, but I’m gonna bite my tongue (and wait until I’m out of Mikey’s sight before I laugh) and push Mikey a little harder.
After I finally got Mikey to sit on the potty, I realized that he was only partially successful in my purpose for bringing him there. It gets a little frustrating because Mikey’s not completely potty trained and we’re still having trouble getting him to understand what he needs to do to avoid wearing pull-ups. But even though, in this instance, he didn’t do exactly what I was hoping he would, I still said, “Good job, Mikey!” It’s important to celebrate everything. The smallest successes are still successes and out of small things do great things grow. That’s something I believe with the greatest of resolve.
Mikey smiled at me while he washed and dried his hands. As I opened the door to let him go back to play I smiled, kissed him, and said, “It’s okay, buddy, we’ll get it next time.” I watched him run back into the other room and felt good about my decision to always be optimistic. With a spring in my step I followed behind him and repeated to myself, “We’ll get it next time.”
Dan Olawski blogs about fatherhood and his son Mikey for the Autism Society. He lives with his family on Long Island, N.Y., where he works as a writer/editor. His time is spent following Mikey with a vacuum cleaner, watching his beloved New York Yankees and continuing his pursuit of the perfect chocolate chip cookie. He can be contacted at dantheeditorman@gmail.com.
Topics:Living with Autism
