Autism Matters

The Bond Between Father and Son is Even More than I Expected

Joel, editor of the blog network Autisable, shares his thoughts on fatherhood.

June 14, 2011
By Joel

Being a dad of a child with autism has its own set of blessings.

Like many fathers, when the diagnosis was confirmed that our son was on the spectrum, there was a sense of relief – and then a sense of loss. Lost dreams, lost moments that may or may not ever be.

Often, I’ve found myself in a state of wanting to have a basic conversation with my son or even play catch – teaching him sports. You know -- what dads often do with their kids.

But there’s something else I’ve found that overrides the sense of loss I once had, and it’s those moments of joy when we experience that connection. The smiles and the hugs I receive when I get home from work. The wrestling, the tickle fights, the reading of books, the watching of videos.

The bond between father and son is still there, and it’s even more than what I expected.

I remember one day trying to explain to someone that my son does understand, but he has his own set of challenges expressing himself. While I was explaining, my son held my hand – and squeezed tightly whenever he wanted to say that he heard me and appreciated me for speaking for him.

I’ve found that the role of a father is more than I ever imagined, and this is due to learning so much from my son, who, even with so few words, has taught me so much.

May you enjoy Father’s Day, and find those moments of joy.

- Joel manages the blog network Autisable, an online community that connects people who want to tackle the puzzle of autism. The mission of Autisable is to be of service to the autism community by providing an open platform where anything autism related can be shared and discussed.

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Topics:Living with Autism

Comments

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Submitted by: jsa Date: June 16, 2011

so very true and inspiring but we each have so more than the average son...completely unique...sometimes painful but so worth it to watch your son grow and mature and be there for him

Submitted by: Zidlow Date: June 16, 2011

Very touching.I too have a son who is now 16 on the spectrum. Sometimes painful,sometimes joyful,always enlightening.

Submitted by: Stu Date: June 15, 2011

Beautifully said. My feeling exactly.

Submitted by: James Date: June 14, 2011

What a beautiful post that speaks to all Dads of an autistic child. I felt as if you read my mind and spoke on my behalf. Very well done Joel!

Submitted by: Joel Manzer Date: June 14, 2011

Thank you Derek and David. It's encouraging to know that I'm not alone in this journey.

Submitted by: Derek Date: June 14, 2011

I agree and fully concur. I felt the same sense of loss but have experienced so much more.

Submitted by: david Date: June 14, 2011

could have read a book from you Joel on this topic but thanks so much for your words. I have a 5 year old that is on the "spectrum", and my experience as his father completely mirrors yours.