Windows into a Sibling’s Mind and Heart

June 27, 2011
By Caroline

My younger brother, Willie, has autism. That means I need to keep my eyes open for sudden windows into my brother’s mind and heart. I know better than to expect logical responses or explanations, but I keep trying.

I remember a time one such ‘window’ opened, during the long-ago era when my brother was obsessed with ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.’ He had (and still has) all seven stuffed dwarves, and he loved to line them up in a row. He referred to himself as ‘Grumpy’ or ‘Happy’ depending on his mood. (I realize now that the film was probably an excellent way for a boy with autism to learn about identifying emotions, since each dwarf is typecast and consistent in their facial expression throughout the story.)

One day, my parents asked him, “Willie, if you’re Happy [he was Happy that day], who is Mommy?”

For reasons inexplicable, Willie replied, “Mommy is Bashful!”

[Author’s note:  Mommy is not bashful. However, Bashful is a very thoughtful, kind dwarf, so perhaps this was the reasoning behind the choice.]

My mom then asked, “And who is Daddy?”

Willie said, “Daddy is Doc!”

[Author’s note:  This choice seems a bit more logical. My father wears glasses; has a calm, direct way of expressing himself, has a quirky sense of humor; and is a natural leader.]

Finally, my mom asked, “And who is your sister Caroline?”

With no hesitation, Willie said, “Caroline is Snow White!”

So there you have it. To my brother, I am a Disney princess. He may not be able to say things like, “Caroline, I look up to you,” or “Caroline, I’m glad you’re my sister,” but in his mind he can cast me in a starring role in the movie.

I may not be able to see all I’d like to see of my brother’s mind and heart. But what I do see is astonishing. He’s creative, hilarious and generous with his casting.

Maybe, just maybe, I can only see part of him because to see fully would be too much beauty to bear.

---

The Autism Society shares your stories about living with autism because there is value in learning from one another, and inspiring and supporting one another through our respective, various experiences. You can read more stories at the Living with Autism section of the Autism Society website. For even more autism journeys, meet us in Orlando for the Autism Society’s 42nd Conference and Exhibition. Register here! Here are examples of some of the personal, introspective sessions that will take place:

My Life with Autism
This presentation explores the multiple challenges that many with autism experience on a daily basis as well as gives insight into uneven social/emotional development. I will share how I have learned to be a self-teacher and work through barriers to obtain self-gains.
Sondra K. Williams, adult with autism

Speaking for Ourselves: Individuals on the Autism Spectrum Panel
This is the 21st year of the Speaking for Ourselves panel in which four individuals share their experience of autism/Asperger's. This is an opportunity for you to hear about their struggles and victories, and to applaud their personal growth. Each year, new individuals are chosen to give them a chance to be in the spotlight and gain confidence in expressing themselves in a supportive atmosphere. Come join us to cheer them on!
Julie A. Donnelly, Ph.D.

Topics:About Autism, Living with Autism

 

Comments

Please login or register before you comment. Click here to login or register.