Autism Matters

Autism and Sociability

January 31, 2013
By Lee Passehl

Some people believe that Autistics are antisocial. I am not antisocial, though some people might interpret my behavior as though I am. I like being around people at social events because I am curious, and I like to get to know new people and unwind after a long day. When I am not around people I miss the stimulation talking to my friends, family and certain people I do not know. When I was younger I would go into my room during a big party (even for my own birthday parties). I think I had a sensory overload, but it was a good sensory overload. It was like pigging out on all the candy and chocolate ice cream you can handle. I was so ‘stuffed’ from the stimulation that I had to take a break. I was taking it all in. Another thing is that I also run out of topics to talk about and my brain gets a little overheated from talking for a while and I need a rest.

When I graduated from high school, I wanted to have a graduation party but my parents were worried that I wouldn’t be a good host and I would leave my own party. They were probably right, but I’m more mature now and I know I would do much better these days. Having many people around makes me feel good.

When I was 2-5 years old, my parents used to have great big picnics in the countryside at my house. These were some of the happiest days of my life because I felt so happy in the presence of many people. Even though sometimes I would stay in the house, I felt awesome that so many people were around and I would have liked to have talked to them if I could. I look at friends on Facebook who have many family members over for the holidays with awe.

As a person with autism, I can tell you that I am definitely not antisocial. There are a good number of times I would prefer to be alone. But most of the time I want to be with people and interact with them as much as I can and tell them about my life, discuss what’s happening in the world, and hear what’s going on in their lives.

To generalize that autistic people just want to be alone and by themselves in their own little world is just not right. There are probably many Autistics like me who want to interact with people and spend time with people but just simply don’t know how. They would love to have the interactions that most people take for granted: Working towards an intelligent conversation.

Lee Passehl blogs for the Autism Society about his life with autism. Read his story!

Topics:Living with Autism

Comments

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Submitted by: agear Date: March 13, 2013

I feel exactly like this too. My doctors say I am not autistic but I sure do identify with a lot of the same problems and feelings. I thank you for sharing your story so more people understand what it's like to feel like you described.

Submitted by: Jay Date: February 7, 2013

Very helpful Lee for us all to learn from adults wit autism like you. Thank you. I wrote about the negative stereotypes of people with ASD in my book Challenging the Myths of Autism. Like your article does, the book reframes how some of the different behaviors can be interpreted in a more positive way.