February 8, 2013
By Dan Olawski
After my previous blog article (“Merry Christmas, Daddy!” An Imagined Conversation with My Son) was published, I received many wonderful comments and emails. The most common thread among that feedback was that my Christmas wish would come true someday. That concept of “someday” has stuck with me for a while now.
The dictionary defines someday as “at an indefinite time in the future.” When I think of that sort of passage of time I picture the pages of a calendar ripping off and flying through the air as in an old black and white movie...a frenetic and non-reassuring image. But, as is often the case in the English language, someday has another meaning when spelled some day. Some day is defined as “a non-named but particular day in future.” A more positive, but still indefinite spin on the word, “We’ll get together again some day…I promise.”
For parents of children with autism, we watch our children struggle through various challenges while we work toward, and hope for, a positive outcome. We always shoot for some day, but often realize it may be more like someday.
I remember back to when my wife was pregnant with Mikey and how I’d think, “Some day he’ll be here with me.” And then when he was a baby crawling on the floor, “Some day he’ll be walking.” When he was a toddler it was, “Some day he’ll be talking.” But since that life-changing autism diagnosis, it just has been years of, “Someday.”
As I entered this new year with all of its freshness and potential for good things to happen, I thought about the regression and lack of progress that plagued Mikey last year, making that someday seem impossible to ever arrive. However, when it comes to Mikey, I’m an optimist. And my wife and I knew there were things we needed to do to steer our son back in the right direction, and over the past few weeks it appears he has turned a corner and is making positive gains again.
So, now, I’m trying to look at Mikey with a new word in my head, “soon.” Soon…one day soon. With a lot of work and a lot of love…one day his some day will come.
Dan Olawski blogs about fatherhood and his son Mikey for the Autism Society. He lives with his family on Long Island, N.Y., where he works as a writer/editor. His time is spent following Mikey with a vacuum cleaner, watching his beloved New York Yankees and continuing his pursuit of the perfect chocolate chip cookie. He can be contacted at email@example.com.
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