Jim
Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I am a family member

Although I don’t have a degree in education, it is clear that I am—and will always be—a teacher for my 20-year-old son with autism. Class is in session during all waking hours when we are together.

If we are watching sports together, I like to ask him “Do you know what the announcer means when he says (fill in the blank)?” This type of question helps me know what part of the language Michael understands or doesn’t understand. We know that he passed a recent “quiz” when he reported during a basketball game that “There is a 10 second difference between the shot clock and the game clock.”

A more important class is social skills: “Remember to look at the person you are talking to” or “Wait for your turn in conversation” are examples of lessons that must be taught and re-taught with some frequency. Other skills, like saying hello and being polite, have been mastered.

On Father’s Day, Michael and I went to the golf course together. As we talked about the safe driving of a golf cart or how to “mark” your ball with a coin on the putting green or how to rake a sand trap, I realized that these ongoing life lessons are a huge part of our relationship. All parents teach and model behavior, but the parents of children on the spectrum have the added challenge of not letting a teachable moment go by. The rewards of that extra “class time” are well worth the effort.